


And Your Bird Can Sing

by EvenSpeedWeedisAfraid



Series: Hell's Yarns [16]
Category: Hellsing, Helluva Boss (Web Series), Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Adopted Children, Canon-Typical Violence, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Field Trip, Gen, Jan is a dumbass but then again what's new, Mayberry is incredibly bitter, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags, Please take a look at the author's note in chapter 4, Stormfront shows up and immediately gets turned away, Swearing, Winkle cares a lot, Zorin's comedically inept parenting attempts, btw by canon-typical violence i mean like helluva-typical not hellsing-typical, discussions about the meaning of Ezekiel 25:17, nor basterds-typical for that matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenSpeedWeedisAfraid/pseuds/EvenSpeedWeedisAfraid
Summary: 21 years after the failure of Millennium's plan for an ever so glorious war, a cheery sinner works as a teacher to try and make up for her misdeeds.Too bad that somebody else has some sort of beef with her.
Relationships: Rip van Winkle & Hans Landa, Zorin Blitz/Rip van Winkle
Series: Hell's Yarns [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058714
Kudos: 3





	1. If I fail, if I succeed...

**Author's Note:**

> I realise this might be a harder sell that some of my previous stories, but trust me, I know what I'm doing.

"Ring ring! It's another beautiful day in your life, time to get up!"  
Her own cheery pre-recorded voice rang out from the cutesy pink alarm clock sat upon the left nightstand. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, a tall, lanky raven-haired songbird demon reached over to do two things: stop the ringing, and grab her round glasses. Once those were placed before her eyes, she blinked a few times to adjust to the clarity.  
Looking over, she let her eyes fall on the demon laying next to her, sleeping soundly - a muscular minotaur demon, her head topped with short, spiky blond hair. The sheets covering the two hid most of them, but from experience, the songbird knew the minotaur's entire right half was covered in various tattoos - sometimes, she could read small sentences among the innumerable letters decorating her skin. Like right now, she could faintly make out _'Trigun Maximum'_ on her collarbone.

With a fond smile, the songbird carefully slid out of bed, leaving the other to her peaceful slumber. Picking her clothes from the wardrobe, she put on her usual attire - a dark blue-purple suit with a dark pink dress shirt underneath, a tie, black shoes and white gloves. Smiling to herself, she stepped out of the room and into the halls leading to the house's living room and kitchen.  
Before she got there, however, a little ball of joy came her way. "Mama!"  
Crouching down with her arms held out, she caught the little hellborn eagle child and laughed cheerily as she spun him around. "Ah, _guten morgen_ , Adler!" Placing a loving kiss on the boy's feathery cheek, the songbird walked to the kitchen with her son still in her arms.

After a few minutes had passed, and breakfast had been prepared for three, the two birds took their seats at the table.  
Adler was the first to speak up. "Um... where's other mom? She still asleep, or-"  
From the master bedroom, the two heard the distinct, continuous 8 second long _scream_ of one Tom Araya - which means that the minotaur's phone did its alarm clock job.  
"Well, she's awake _now!_ " The songbird chuckled, and before long they were joined by the towering minotaur demon - dressed as she usually is, in a dark green halter top, combat pants and boots, with black gloves on both hands.  
" _Guten morgen_ Rip... _guten morgen_ Alder," the deeper voiced woman greeted her girlfriend and their adopted son before casually picking up a waffle with her hands and eating it in one bite.

\---

Some minutes later, Rip got ready to head out to work, when suddenly they heard the scream again - Zorin _did_ put it as her ringtone too.  
"Ach, what now..." The much buffer of the two Germans took the call, only to be greeted by a loud voice on the other side of the line.  
"Yo, Torture-Tits! Lemme in, I'm right outside your house!" Of course, it was Jan - she still thought that Rip had made a poor choice in allowing him to be Adler's uncle, but Rip justified it by using the fact that he was the only one of their old colleagues she had managed to get back in contact with ever since arriving in Hell.

Walking to the living room and shifting the curtains, she could indeed see the dark-skinned ghoul of a demon in all his chav-like glory - flipping the double bird while sticking his long tongue out and flicking one of his gold lip piercings. How come he got to keep those, anyway?  
Opening the window, Zorin sneered at him. "Hey, Prince Albert, did you forget your magenta handkerchief?" Despite how much they talk shit to each other, the German definitely thought of these little interactions as one of the highlights of her day. Won't admit it, though.  
"Nah, but my bro's looking for his beige one, and I'm pretty sure somebody took it! Therein lies my motherfuckin' question: which do you like more, eatin' ass or gettin' your ass eaten?"

While Jan kept saying absurdly obscene things, Zorin motioned for Adler to come over. Looking down to her eagle son, she gingerly extracted a Mauser pistol from her pants. "Do you want to see something Rip showed me once?" She asked the boy, who nodded excitedly. Chuckling darkly, the minotaur took aim, lining the gun up with a pebble on the ground near where Jan stood - pulling the trigger, the bullet hit the rock before ricocheting directly into the ghoul's behind. " _AW, FUCK!_ " He screamed, while Adler looked towards Zorin with amazement in his eyes.  
"I've been refining my art," she replied.

\---

As Zorin had her fun messing around with Jan, Rip had happily strode to Gypsy Hill Elementary, where she worked as a teacher.  
The various demonic children happily greeted her as they all disembarked from the school bus, and it filled her with joy. She's sure that this really will be a good day! So much so, in fact, that she began to sing while making her way to the teachers lounge.  
" _I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way... show them all the beauty they possess insiiiide!_ " She didn't get any further, unfortunately, as a bitter voice cut her down from within the shade of the room's blinds.  
"Shut the fuck up, Freischütz."  
Turning her head, Rip saw a violet-skinned demon with messy white hair glaring right at her, lit cigarette between her fingers. Speechless at this display of rudeness, the songbird simply stood there as the sinner kept speaking. "Nobody cares what _you_ think, nobody ever did or ever _will_. All the little kids you teach, they're doomed from the start just by you being their example. If just _one_ little massacre is enough to shit all over a lifetime of the straight and narrow, a Nazi bitch like you? Pfft... nothing good'll ever come from you."

Mayberry's speech _really_ fucked with Rip's mood, hopes dashed and replaced with sorrow as she went to her class holding back tears. Then, she remembered that today was class field trip day.  
_Scheisse._


	2. At least I'll live as I believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winkle and her class head out on their field trip - but an unexpected encounter might change the improving mood.  
> Meanwhile, Zorin and Jan discuss music and what is and isn't appropriate to watch in the company of children.

The kids knew something was wrong the moment Rip walked into the class. Usually, she was so springy and full of life, and always replied to them individually after they all said 'good morning' to her in unison... but totally, she almost made a beeline for her desk and stared down at her interlaced hands.  
"Are you okay, Ms. Freischütz?" One of the kids sat in the front row asked, concern very obvious in her insectoid face. Their teacher could barely manage to make eye-contact with them - she tried, bless her heart, but her lip trembled and she hid her face against the desk, pulling her glasses off to let a few tears flow.

All the children began to try and cheer her up, but most drew blanks as to what to do. The insect child in the front left her seat to approach Rip, gently tugging on her suit's sleeve. "I don't know what happened, but um... do you remember when you told us you bought your girlfriend a new phone, and then uhh... she filled it with Slayer songs?"  
It was a bit of a gamble, but considering the little chuckle that left the songbird, it seemed to have paid off. " _Ja_ , I do remember... and she made Angel of Death her ringtone too, what a goofster!"  
Thanks to that, Rip was able to push her sadness down enough to power through the day. Or well, if today _wasn't field trip day_ , but she'll try her best, though.  
Leading the kids out to the line of school buses, a wayward glance to the other classes coming out made Rip van Winkle realise that Mayberry's class is _also_ heading out to the field trip. Considering the glare the mauve menace gave her in return, she plans on making things go bad for the songbird.

After every class boarded their buses, the trip was a go - with the ones aboard Rip's convoy deciding that their still sulking teacher needs some further cheering up! Several of the kids attempted to get the driver's attention to get him to put a specific song on the sound system, and after some doing, the work paid off - the music filling the bus with a slow start.

>   
>  _Hast du etwas Zeit für mich?_   
>  _Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich_   
>  _Von 99 Luftballons_   
>  _Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont_   
> 

Hearing those words made Rip perk up, a smile slowly growing upon her face - she was so lucky to have these little ones as her students.  
For all the world, they didn't _owe_ her this kindness, especially in such an awful world. And yet, they must have been raised with _some_ hint of compassion. Or maybe it really _was_ thanks to her?  
Eh, she'll get introspective about it some other time, because now is the time to groove to some good ol' New Wave!

\---

"Hm? What's up, Adler?"  
Back at home, Zorin looked down towards her adopted eagle son, who seemed concerned about something. "Is Uncle Jan supposed to be watching his shows on our TV?"  
"I-" Her train of thought was cut abruptly when she heard a piece of dialogue from Jan's show.

_"Don't be a pussy, laser my fuckin' tits!"_  
The minotaur's face scrunched up in irritation and disgust, some steam even blowing out of her nose as she began stomping her way to the living room, _death_ in her non-crooked eye.  
When she walked in, Zorin regretted her semi-friendship with the ghoul even more. On the screen was... what she _could_ call a somewhat comedic sex scene between two awful superpowered people, but she'd rather call it a parade of furniture-smashing, face-punching degeneracy. And as if to make it _worse_ , whoever filmed this decided to score it with a rather familiar piece of classic rock.  
Suffice to say, she was not happy with this situation. Marching over to Jan, she grabbed the TV remote and made the show come to a full stop.  
"Yo, what the _fuck_ , I was watchin' that!" Jan complained, before getting an open-handed full-force smack across the face. "Ow, that fuckin' _hurt_ ya bitch!"

Smoldering in anger, Zorin simply glared at him before speaking through gritted teeth. "We didn't sign up for Amazon Prime to have your dumb ass watch garbage smut and tarnish _Dream On_ for me. And as if that was bad enough as is... you did it _while my son was around_ , you yokel _schweinehund!_ "  
"Dude, you let your son watch Pulp Fiction, I was there to see that too! How is _this_ any different?" Jan was ready to complain some more, but Zorin just huffed before sitting down next to him. Waiting a few moments, she looked off to where she came from.  
"You can come in, Adler. Your uncle isn't watching his garbage anymore, it's safe again."

The eagle gingerly stepped in, sitting down in front of the couch with intent to watch his mom and uncle have... a conversation, let's say.  
At first, it was just her berating the ghoul, but it eventually shifted gears completely into unexpected territory, considering the circumstances.  
"... and I have to admit that the _Tommies_ do have very good metal music. Considering how I _usually_ talk about those people..." Zorin shrugged, as Jan nodded.  
"I mean, fuck yeah they do. C'mon, how can you go wrong with shit like Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Mötorhead... how can _anybody_ say otherwise?"  
"Americans have good bands too. Of course, can't forget the Big Four... I just realised that Anthrax is the only one of the Big Four that isn't from California, did you ever notice that?" The minotaur mumbled, almost ashamed that it took her upwards of 20 years to figure out a basic fact about bands she listens to.

\---

The field trip to the zoo was going along swimmingly, despite the best efforts of Mrs. Mayberry (which frustrated her immensely, by the by). Rip's students were learning a lot by watching the behavior of the animals and reading the plaques in front of the enclosures, which was very good!  
However, now was time for the group lunch break, and as all the children sat down at the tables of the zoo's restaurant, Rip spotted something out of the corner of her eye - something she certainly didn't expect today... or rather, some _one._

"I'll be back, kids. Be nice, now!" She said, getting up and moving towards the other table, where she had seen a male rat demon in a well-pressed grey suit - at this moment, said demon was eating a strudel topped with whipped cream.  
From a distance, Mayberry pulled out her phone to start filming that _damn bitch_ doing something surely inappropriate for a teacher to do.

Sitting down across from him, Rip nodded at the rat, who spoke up after taking a gulp of his glass of milk. "Ah, hello there Ms. van Winkle," he said with a rather friendly smile.  
"And hello to you as well, Colonel Landa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.


	3. No matter what they take from me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this Rip-centric chapter, our friend learns that the past is never much more than a stone's toss away.  
> Will she let it define her, or will she forge her own future?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's gonna be passing mentions of Reich-related things this chapter, but not in any way detailed. Oh, and also spoilers for the last act of Inglourious Basterds in the latter half of the chapter.

Rip couldn't help but snicker at the sight of Landa's borderline comedically large calabash pipe as he tipped a bit of tobacco into it, lighting a match and carefully bringing it close enough to send the flames into the substance. Shaking the match off and placing it down on the table, he took a few puffs of his pipe before speaking.  
"So, how are things? I'm to _assume_ you've got your afterlife in order, right? I mean, otherwise how would you explain all those young ones over there," he said, motioning towards the students a few feet away from them. Indeed, they were all exactly where Rip left them, not a single one unaccounted for - each and every one either eating or joyously conversing among themselves.

"Ah, Colonel, you flatter me! But... _ja_ , I guess things are good. Oh, did I ever mention that Zorin and myself have adopted a child? I might have forgot, but it has been a good long while since we last saw each other, you'll have to forgive me," the songbird said with an awkward chuckle. "We named him Adler."  
"Ooh, Adler! Strong name, good choice. And if he's an eagle boy, then it's an even _better_ choice!" The rat demon smiled, shifting in his seat in excitement. But just as soon as it came, it went, Landa's composure becoming more polite than outright friendly. "But, Ms. van Winkle... you're omitting some things, are you not?"  
Shit. Rip's shoulders fell a bit, and so did her smile as she sighed. "Yes."  
"Someone's harassing you, are they not?"  
"Yes."

Sighing himself before taking a bite of his strudel, Landa looked towards Rip with something between resignation and compassion. "Well, like it or not, that's what we have to expect in Hell. With what _we've_ done, sympathy isn't exactly, as the French would say, _l'ordre du jour_ , I'm sure you'll agree."  
"I know, I know. It's just... I've been trying for _21 years_ to be better, but it's just not enough, is it? I can show all the kindness in the world, and they'll still think I'm some baby-eating psychopath wanting to commit genocide," Rip said, genuine sadness in her tone of voice.  
"Some will think that, yes, but I've learned not to let the thoughts of others bother me. If I can allow myself a comparison... you can't control the nicknames your enemies bestow upon you, but you _can_ control how you react to them. For example, you surely know the nickname _I_ was given during the war, hm?"  
Rip nodded. "I'd repeat it, but I fear I might get in trouble for it," she admitted with a mirthless chuckle.

"All the better, because I don't much like it myself. Now, sure, I once _did_ embrace the name, but I'm a _detective_ , and a damn good one. Of course, with the people I worked for, SD and SS and so and and so forth, some of the people I was tasked to find were Jews, but Jew _Hunter?_ " His nose crinkled at the words, before he scoffed. "It's just a name that stuck. It's not representative of who I am now, basically."  
A pause, before Landa chuckled. "Now, I'd _love_ to keep talking with you, but I feel as if your own personal Aldo the Apache is watching us converse at this very moment," he said quietly with a subtle glance shot towards Mayberry, seated several tables away - a glance so subtle that Rip didn't quite catch it, but strong enough that Mayberry _definitely did_ , judging from her putting her phone away.  
"And besides, your students are done eating, and I'm sure they want to keep seeing the animals, do they not?"

\---

Normally, it'd be unprofessional to let an old acquaintance hang around with you while on a field trip - but for someone like Colonel Hans Landa? Rip was willing to make an exception. Besides, he was actually rather kind to the students himself: sharing in their amusement while watching the zoo's inhabitants, letting them play good-natured pranks and jokes on him, and regaling them with additional facts that the plaques omitted.  
In that moment, she felt as if everything was going to be alright for once, and that nothing Mayberry could do would ruin it.

>   
>  _See these eyes so green_   
>  _I can stare for a thousand years_   
>  _Colder than the moon_   
>  _It's been so long..._   
> 

Unfortunately, the chatter of what seemed to be insistent reporters growing louder and closer brought her out of her happy place. Among all the incessant blathering, she could identify one recurring word: _Stormfront._  
Looking over, she saw a female hawk demon dressed in a black leather outfit, with a black cape trailing behind her. After squinting a bit, Rip could make out a bit of a side-shave to this newcomer's hair. For some reason, she felt as if she knows her from somewhere.  
As the roving band of gossip-hungry parasites and their target got closer, Rip and Landa stood still, with the songbird keeping the students behind her.

>   
>  _Feel my blood enraged_   
>  _It's just the fear of losing you_   
>  _Don't you know my name?_   
>  _You've been so long..._   
> 

Apparently, this _Stormfront_ was fed up with the reporters, turning to face them. "Okay, will you fuckers get off my ass for a minute? And before any of you garbage bags mention it, _yes_ I know you can see the details of my ass in this-"  
Considering the _dead silence_ around her, the hawk turned around and noticed the teacher hiding the kids from her. "Oh, come on. You don't have to hide the children, I'm not the bad guy! Shit, I should introduce myself, because you two..." She pointed to Rip and Landa before bringing her hands back to her hips. "You don't look like the internet savvy types. I'm Stormfront! Your... students, they probably heard of me."  
One of the kids, apparently in a bold mood, stepped out from behind Rip and pointed to the hawk. "My mom says you're a meanie!"  
"Well your mom sounds like she doesn't have all the facts, kid!" Stormfront said, contempt hidden behind meager amounts of fake kindness. "Thing is, I'm the _good_ guy - the world just fucking loves to mistake good for _nice_. You _should_ be a bitch, you don't owe anybody shit-"  
"I think that's quite enough now, Klara," Landa said casually yet pointedly.

>   
>  _And I've been putting out fire..._   
>  _With gasoliiiiine!_   
> 

Stormfront's eyes went wide from hearing her given name, snapping her gaze right at the rat demon who was taking a few puffs from his calabash.  
"And who the _fuck_ are you to talk to me, huh? Fucking... impure, _vermin!_ " As her frustration ramped up, the hawk couldn't help but let herself slip back into her native German accent.  
"Well, not that I think you deserve to know, but for the sake of being polite," Landa patted himself down before standing straight. "Hans Landa, recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor for helping to bring down-"  
"The High Command. So it was _you_ who blew up _Le Gamaar_ , with everyone in it... good thing me and Frederick didn't go to the _Stolz der Nation_ premiere, **huh?!** " Stormfront's rage was reaching boiling point, lightning starting to gather at the tips of her gloved claws. Looking over to Rip in a moment of irrational thought, she tried to appeal to her. "You! Your eyes and your stance, I can tell you're on my side, right? C'mon, let's get rid of this fucking _traitor!_ "

She didn't expect the songbird to respond by socking her in the jaw.

>   
>  _See these eyes so red,_   
>  _Red like jungle burning bright!_   
>  _Those who feel me near,_   
>  _Pull the blinds and change their minds!_   
>  _It's been so long!_   
> 

"You're making the wrong call, Klara. Landa and me, we've both moved on. You're _alone_ in your make-believe war." Sighing, Rip held her hand out to her right, waiting a few moments before an antique Jezail rifle materialised within her grasp. Levelling it towards the hawk, the songbird shook her head. "Face the music... it's a losing effort, and it has been for the past seventy-five years. People like you are the _exact reason_ that I can't live a normal life down here. They think I'm _you!_ "  
From a distance, Mayberry fumed as once again, another opportunity to 'expose' Rip slipped through her fingers. As this confrontation between Rip and Stormfront went on, Landa told the students to go get the zoo's security. Soon enough, several burly demons - easily identifiable as security because of the brightly colored _SECURITY_ printed on their shirts - arrived, all leaping onto Stormfront to hold her down.

The hawk screamed incoherently and shouted slurs at passersby as she was forcefully removed from the premises, but not before getting to hear Rip utter one last phrase.  
"Take your _Reichsadler_ and shove it up your ass!"

\---

Some time later, Rip was leading the children to their bus, a content smile on her face from having turned away a ghost of her past so decisively. When Landa passed by her, he nodded respectfully, before speaking up.  
"This was quite an entertaining day, if I do say so myself. Now, remember how I said earlier that I'm a detective? Truth is, I actually have... an agency down here! Here's my card." With a smile, he handed her a business card. "If you ever need something found, give me a call. Anyway, I won't hold you any longer. _Weidmannsheil!_ "  
Grinning widely, Rip nodded in return. " _Weidmannsdank_ , Landa!"

As she boarded the bus, the songbird looked at the card in her hands.  
 _Landa's Look-see._  
Maybe she could give him a ring sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me welding canons together in these streets.  
> Also, _Weidmannsheil_ is a traditional German hunt-based greeting, kind of comparable to wishing somebody luck by saying 'break a leg'. _Weidmannsdank_ is the recipient's response in such an exchange.


	4. They can't take away my dignity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rip's day comes to a close, and she gets a bit of good news too!  
> A bright future might be calling for her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was brought to my attention that with how I wrote Landa last chapter, it could read as me having redeemed him. That was not even remotely my intention, so let me make it clear:  
> Hans Landa is still the same opportunistic, sadistic bastard he's always been. He rewrites his own personal history regularly, and he overall should not be trusted.

After getting back to the school, the rest of the day went rather swimmingly - after all, there wasn't much teaching on the schedule, it was more just letting the kids explain what they liked the most about their trip. It was a nice little relaxing period after the bumfuckery that occurred over at the zoo, especially in the second half of their visit.  
Regardless, Rip was certainly in a better mood than when they left for the trip by the time the school bell run to signal the end of the day.  
Leading the kids outside with a smile on her face, the songbird remained standing on the sidewalk even once the buses left to bring the children to their homes. After all, somebody's supposed to come and get her at this time! Unfortunately, there's going to be some slight irritation to deal with in the meantime.

"You're _definitely_ hiding something, Freischütz."  
Without even turning to look at her, she knew that it was Mayberry talking. The violet demon took a drag of her cigarette, before speaking again. "Who the fuck is _this_ happy all the time down here? You're in Hell, there's _no reason_ to be nice anymore." Snarling, Mayberry flicked her lit cigarette towards Rip... who caught it in mid-air without even looking back. "The _fuck?_ "  
"You're right... there isn't a _reason_ to be nice. But there's no reason to _not_ be nice either." Shaking her head, Rip tossed the death-stick to the ground and crushed it with her shoe before turning gracefully to look at Mayberry. "Kindness is its own reward, but you probably wouldn't understand that."

Sighing, Rip placed her hands on her hips. "Did you ever read the Bible, Mayberry?"  
"Pfft, yeah, and look what fuckin' good _that_ did," the bitter sinner grumbled.  
"Well, I never quite put much time into repeat readings, but... I heard a passage the other day, when my son watched a movie." A pause. " _Ezekiel 25:17_. If I remember correctly, it said..." She coughed, before resuming. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is _truly_ his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee."  
Mayberry blinked in disbelief. "You let your _son_ watch _Pulp Fiction?_ "  
"It's just a movie, much worse happens just outside our homes down here. Regardless, that's besides the point. Point is, I went to sleep after hearing it, telling Zorin to not forget that Adler shouldn't stay up too late or else he might get cranky the next day. But... it stuck with me. It's pretty strong, as a statement, isn't it?" Rip smiled just a little. "After today's events, I got to thinking. Maybe it means _you're_ the evil man, and _I'm_ the righteous man!" Holding her hand off to the side, she materialised her Jezail rifle and brought it close to her chest. "And Ms. Jezail here, she's the Shepherd protecting me in the valley of darkness!"

Another pause, just to let the other teacher take in the words. "Or it _could_ mean that... _you're_ the righteous man and _I'm_ the Shepherd... and it's the _world_ that's evil and selfish. I'd like that a lot, it'd be quite nice. But... it's wishful thinking, not the truth. The truth is... _you're the weak._ And I... am the tyranny of evil men. But I'm **trying** , Mayberry. I'm trying _really hard_ to be the Shepherd."  
After a moment of silence, Mayberry scoffed and walked over to stand in front of Rip. "Yeah, that's a nice little speech, but it doesn't change _shit_. You're still evil, and nothing can take that away."  
"Maybe so... but there is something that _can_ be taken away right about now," Rip said with a chuckle, closing her eyes and calling her rifle back into herself as the sounds of a pounding industrial metal beat grew closer and louder from down the street.

>   
>  _Willst du bis der Tod euch scheidet_   
>  _Treu ihr sein für alle Tage?_   
> 

As Mayberry backed away from the songbird and onto the curb, an almost ethereal whisper left Rip's lips for a moment. " _Jaaaa..._ "  
And just in time for the response, a car bowled the violet woman over as the song's vocalist shouted out **NEIN!**  
Stepping out of the car, a minotaur demon glared towards Mayberry, the latter groggily getting back to her feet. Looking towards Rip, the minotaur pointed at the other teacher. "So. That's the bully you told me about, Rip?"  
"Mhm, that's her. I really don't know why she hates me so much..."  
Zorin shrugged. "Eh, you know what they say. _I may not know my flowers, but I know a bitch when I see one._ " With a laugh, the girlfriends got into the car and drove off.

As they rode back home, Zorin looked towards Rip with a subtle smile. "I heard something earlier on the news. You know that Radio Demon you like so much?"  
"Alastor? What's up with him, is everything alright?" The concern in the songbird's tone was rather amusing, considering what the information was going to be.  
"Oh, _ja_ , he's very alright. Just learned that he killed that Alucard bastard."  
Just from hearing that, Rip began crying tears of joy.

\---

A few weeks later, a knock was heard at the Hotel's front door. Since both were nearby, Charlie and Vaggie decided to be on greeting duty for this.  
When the door opened, their eyes were met with two tall women - one remarkably cheery, the other significantly less so but clearly wanting the best for the other.  
It felt like staring into a weird, Germanic mirror. But of course, Charlie gladly let them come in.  
Rip was glad she wasn't the only one down here with hope within... and also, getting to possibly meet Alastor, if he really _was_ sponsoring the place? What a deal!

\---

_**Meanwhile, somewhere else...** _

"So, what is it that you want, Vox?"  
"Simple. Information on the Radio Demon and all his potential weaknesses. I trust that you can get me that without any issue, Landa?"  
"Of course, as long as you don't back off on your end of the deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter probably wasn't that good but meh, I just wanted to get this story over and done with. I hope you understand.
> 
> Next yarn will be problem-free in comparison. Hopefully it'll wash the taste out of my mouth.


End file.
